I’ve noticed a pattern emerging in my emails. It appears that the Internet is really worried about me and only wants what’s best for me.

The Associated Press sends out periodic updates of its oft-maligned stylebook, and one can tell what’s been happening in the news by the words and phrases that AP chooses to define, update or clarify.

My favorite word and usage curmudgeon, John McIntyre of the Baltimore Sun, gives a gentle rant about the “joy of missing out.”

I received the following out-of-office message from a journalist in response to a press release we sent out. It has to be the best, most entertaining OOO message ever.

Hi. I’ll be out of the office beginning Friday, July 18, returning on the 12th of Never. During that time, I will have limited access to e-mail, Twitter, Twatter and Squatter. I hope to avoid human interaction entirely, except with those closest to me, and even then on a limited basis.